Home » Post Item » in a place where i am urs
a page for my alter-ego, my alter-life's musings. words i wish some people can hear, things i can't tell anyone who knows me, so pardon the anonimity.. i exist, but i wish i don't...

in a place where i am urs

March 29, 2006

i guess all i’m going to post here is just lamentations. actually, i’m not that sure. but all i know is that, this is what i feel right now. pardon fellow bloggers who came here and were lookin for happy bloggin. as of now, i have only few happy thoughts.. like last night…

* * *

last night, i was urs again. we got in the car, and drove away from the rest of the world. i didn’t glance back. i am with u, and that’s all the matters. i shut the cell off, in case anyone calls. Nothing and no one matters - except u.

we went to get some food, eat, talk. i was in ur embrace. i got lost in ur kisses. wat i claimed earlier that i would not do, i did. i fell once more in ur presence. devilish eyes, ragged tuff, hot lips, warm hands. when u hold me, i could not think about nothing else but us. in that place where i can be urs, i was urs for all time.

u didn’t want me to kiss ur lips. pretty woman? u might fall? it hurt u know. not being to kiss ur lips. when everytime i see them, kissing them is the only salvation i could think from this damned existence.

when u touched me, it felt like the most wonderful thing in the world. i really missed being with u. just a touch of the hand makes my body quiver with longing and passion. u really got me, baby. got me completely tied around ur finger. being engulfed in ur embrace is the most natural thing in the world - like breathing.

 all the time, i couldn’t stop kissing u, hugging u, tellin u how much i missed u, how much i loved u.

there was a brief moment that i looked u in ur eyes, and u looked at me back. for a moment, i felt that u really really loved me too much to let go. i was looking at u beyond the hair covering my face. there were thoughts in ur eyes i couldn’t quite fathom. i don’t want to assume what u were thinking. then u said:

what if we have met earlier?

baby ko, u have no idea what those words meant to me. i know what u’re thinking. or at least, that’s how i’d like to think it. that u were wishing u knew me earlier, and we could be that happy couple we are now, without having to go away from the world. no predefined codes to send messages, no long-time scheduling to be with each other, no lies.

when u told me those words, i did not trust myself to respond, for i fear i would bare again what’s inside my heart, and i couldn’t bear what u would have to say later on.

when we went home, u even slipped: u called me her name. i pretended not to notice. that was the 2nd time. before i asked u, “what did u call me?” and now, i didn’t. because in all honestly, if i can’t be with u, i thought of times before that if only i could be her. just so i can be with u…

it was such a nice night. bein urs. i look forward to more of them. moments spent in ur arms while the world sleeps.

* * *

Baby: i really did missed u all these time. spending time with u last night made me ache for the times i’ve tried to be away from u because i felt u didn’t love me anymore. regardless of ur feelings, i guess all that matters is how i felt in ur arms.

Posted by kutingz at 11:56 am | permalink

Previous Comments

i guess we are on the same boat. i don't know if i should be telling u to hang-on or something… hahay. love nga naman.

Posted by gwenny at March 30, 2006, 11:30 am

[1] same boat, same ocean.. different shore, but same navigator. do u think it's worth all our pain to be with someone we love? i know it'd be ryt to be with him. if only he feels the same way… how are u gwenny? i hope ur better.

Posted by kutingz at April 7, 2006, 1:40 pm

i broke up with him last nyt. time to move on. . .

now i hope ur better. someday i know you will be happy.

Posted by gwenny at April 13, 2006, 11:55 am

[3] i wish i can soon…

Posted by kutingz at April 21, 2006, 4:44 pm

All comments are moderated. Your comments will not appear here unless approved by the blog owner. Thank you.

Add a comment